Jude Bacalso insists she had a valid complaint after misgendering issue
Queer writer Jude Bacalso asserted that she had a valid complaint when a waiter used the wrong pronoun, calling her "sir." She, however, remained mum on the legal complaints filed against her by the restaurant staff member.
In a press forum covered by Cebu Daily News, Bacalso became a speaker for a forum that focused on raising awareness on gender issues in journalism, where she reiterated that she was justified in scolding the waiter for misgendering her.
"I had a valid complaint. I was misgendered three times. My standard response is always humor, but inclusivity is crucial, especially in public-facing industries," she said.
However, she stressed that neither she nor the the staff member wanted the incident to be made public.
"Unfortunately, one person posted about it on social media, which put us both in a bad light. I never intended for this to be public. I wanted it handled quietly," Bacalso said, adding that she would not file a complaint against the person who posted about the incident online.
While the former TV personality clarified that "misgendering is absolutely not a crime," she underscored that "calling someone by their correct pronoun is a form of respect."
In a video, Bacalso also spoke up about how she felt when she was on the receiving end of criticisms for allegedly making the waiter stand for two hours as punishment for calling her with the wrong pronouns.
"You cannot imagine how it is when you are being bombarded by hate everyday, but you cannot do anything. Would I cower into silence and look the other way? No," she said.
"It really was wrong. It was a legitimate complaint that I dealt with professionally," she added.
Bacalso appeared to not address the five complaints she is facing for unjust vexation, grave scandal, grave coercion, grave threats, and slight illegal detention, which were filed by the server a day after the incident took place.
"This is not an issue about LGBTQ+ rights. This is a basic case of bullying, harassment, intimidation, coercion, and bad behavior by Mr. Jude Bacalso against my client," the server's lawyer, Ron Ivan Gingoyon, told PhilSTAR L!fe.
Gingoyon added that Bacalso "did not only humiliate and insult the waiter" but also "threatened to have him terminated."
Bacalso had already issued an apology on Facebook, saying that she and the restaurant management had quietly settled the matter and "agreed to pursue together more inclusive practices in the restaurant."
Nonetheless, she set the record straight and emphasized that she "did not demand" the waiter to stand for the said period as she explained her side of the gender sensitivity issue.
"It was he who chose to stand in front of me as we waited for input from management, who I attempted to contact," Bacalso noted.
"My apologies also to the rest of the staff who are disheartened by the way things have escalated, as well as to the customers present at that time. This is a huge chunk of humble pie that I must ingest, because I have erred," she added.