A Gen X dad’s take on new tech
Let me start by confessing something: I’m not a “tech guy” as this generation defines it. Yes, I can reset the Wi-Fi, link devices via Bluetooth, and identify which ports to use on our smart TV, but if you ask me to explain how blockchains work, I’ll respond with a blank stare or a Winnie the Pooh meme. With my insatiable need to know, I learned from the Black Duck application security webpage that a blockchain is “a distributed database that maintains a continuously growing list of ordered records, called blocks.” A-huh.
Yet somehow, in my smaller and smaller circle of old friends, I am by far the go-to guy for most things tech. Maybe it’s because I once connected our printer to the office network without having a full-blown meltdown, or sent fax messages directly from my PC file. Hey, I could even program our four-in-one copying machine to churn out sorted and stapled documents as easily as commanding our coffee machine to blend the perfect cappuccino. That, in the eyes of our staff, made me a guru.
Not so with my growing and growing circle of younger friends. So, when I stumbled upon the latest tech for 2025, I felt compelled to seek their opinions, like I often did for past topics. This time, I immediately desisted, thinking, “Surely, I can rely on my, ahem, expertise. How hard can it be?”
Without further ado, here’s my slightly cynical, very Gen X take on whether we actually need next year’s supposedly cutting-edge “new thing.”
Foldable, rollable tablets. Remember when flip phones made a comeback? I myself snapped up a Samsung Galaxy Z Fold because, how cool is that? Not so cool, as I discovered—the darn screen didn’t last a year and by the time I (hopefully) get it back from the US where it was repaired, it’ll be a few models older.
Now, tech companies have decided that folding isn’t enough; they’re saying we need rollable screens, too. These tablets can fold like a greeting card and then unroll into something resembling a makisu or sushi mat. The concept is rad (is this word still hip?) until you accidentally sit on it and discover you just turned your $2,000 tablet into abstract art.
Marketers promise that foldable, rollable tablets will revolutionize multitasking. You can watch Netflix, answer emails, order Korean takeout, and scroll through memes and TikTok—all on the same screen! But let’s be honest, multitasking is the greatest oxymoron, especially when it comes to people using the latest gadgets.
Sure, computers can do things simultaneously, but try to watch Black Doves or The Law According to Lidia Poët while you’re writing your report from the comfort of a coffee shop, and you’ll end up mixing up espionage and Italian feminism with growth forecasts. If you want a bigger screen, there are rollable TVs from LG and Samsung.
Seriously, if this tech can’t survive the perils of being left unrolled on the couch or dropped in the tub while you’re on some porn site, is it even ready for the Gen X demographic?
AI-powered personal stylists. Nothing screams “I’ve made it!” like having your own stylist. But aside from being unreasonably costly (your stylist will most certainly be earning more than you do), stylists rarely “get you,” if you get my drift. This is where the AI-powered personal stylist makes a grand entrance, at least according to developers like Style DNA or YesPlz AI.
Advanced algorithms scan your face, analyze your personality, and deliver a hairstyle tip tailored just for you. Sounds amazing, right? Until you realize it might decide, “This guy peaked in 1989” and give you a mullet. Heyyy!
The AI also suggests outfits, predicts the next big trends, and can even order clothes online for you. Sadly, you still have to pay for your own purchases. While it may sound like, “Wow, are you kidding me?” I can’t imagine explaining to my wife why I got a delivery for a leather biker’s jacket, ripped jeans, and cowboy boots because it sensed my “inner rebel.” AI may be smart enough to beat chess GMs, but I doubt it can handle a middle-aged man’s existential crisis on what to wear at the next reunion, or funeral.
So, no thanks; I’ll stick with my human stylist, i.e., my wife. We’ll have no issue at all with my wardrobe or hairstyle choices.
Metaverse workpods. Ah, the Metaverse—a place where reality and virtual reality blend into a digital cocktail no one asked for but everyone pretends to enjoy. The Metaverse office pod is 2025’s answer to remote work burnout. It’s a high-tech capsule equipped with holograms, immersive environments, and noise-canceling everything. Essentially, it’s like a futuristic porta-potty for productivity.
While the concept is intriguing, it raises simple questions. First, do I really need to sit in a pod to answer emails? That’s what Starbucks shops are for. Second, how many hours can I spend in one before it starts feeling like a glorified broom closet? And lastly, can it double as a sleeping pod, like what they have in Japan? If I’m locking myself in a tiny space, it’s definitely not to complete spreadsheets or presentations.
Being a Gen X dad means embracing change with equal parts curiosity
Smart contact lenses. If you thought smart glasses were too clunky or pervy, prepare yourself for smart contact lenses. These little miracles can display your notifications, track your health, and even provide augmented reality overlays. Imagine walking down the street while your lenses show you directions, restaurant reviews, real-time videos from your nanny cam, and even your rapidly depleting bank balance.
But even with its revolutionary human-machine interaction (HMI) function that would make Michael Crichton drool or the Wachowski Brothers (now Sisters) tremble in fear of the future, I have serious concerns about this tech. What if they malfunction mid-commute? Can it be used like a retinal camera for spying or voyeurism? Will I be stuck seeing Instagram Reels crouching like Princess Leia on my windshield? Also, how will they aid people who have a nasty habit of losing a contact lens every other week? Until these lenses come with a “find my contact” feature, I’m holding on to my glasses, thank you.
Autonomous kitchen robots. It’s the holidays, and one activity takes center stage. No, it’s not gift-giving or singing carols. Ideally, cooking brings families together, but if you’re flying solo in the kitchen, prepping for your entire clan, you might as well be singing I Won’t Be Home For Christmas.
In 2025, autonomous kitchen robots promise to take the stress out of meal preparation. These machines can chop, sauté, and plate your meals to perfection. Some people may swear to the fuzzy logic that allows AI to “understand” personal preferences, but I doubt if any machine can replicate my signature pancit molo or spaghetti Bolognese.
The verdict: As a Gen Xer, I grew up in a time when high-tech was synonymous with Walkman, 800-gram analog cellular phones, and PCs that ran on MS-DOS diskettes. If we wanted a new song, we waited for the radio DJ to play it and hit the Rec button at exactly the right moment he stops yakking and the music plays. Now, we stream entire albums in seconds (but don’t tell this to purists who believe vinyl is the only way to enjoy music).
That said, I admit new gadgets carry a certain charm. I may never understand how neural interfaces work or why the Metaverse needs pods (personally, I’m more familiar with the multiverse), but that doesn’t mean I won’t pretend to be excited about them. After all, being a Gen X dad means embracing change with equal parts curiosity, caution, and cynicism.
