Dear Mom: Samantha Lewis on surviving and striving as a single mother
Rolling with life’s punches is a feat that powerful women do on the daily. Model and single mother of one Samantha Lewis sits down with PhilSTAR L!fe to take us through what it means to raise a child amid the pandemic and your believing in yourself amid your own mental health struggles.
Uprooting a life
My story, where do I start? In 2016 I moved from Manila to London to start there from scratch. I was working a corporate job at the time but it wasn’t for me. I think that was my cue that it was time to explore my options. I was thinking, if I leave this job here in Manila where else would I go? Thankfully, I’m half-British so I’ve been to London many times throughout my life.
During this soul-searching period, I stayed in Europe for half a year with my ex. We basically moved there together. Then when I got pregnant, it was challenging because we didn’t have family there. It was like a start from zero type of thing—new country, new work, no friends, in the beginning, no family. I can't lie, it was difficult. That’s how everything began.
Mental health and motherhood
I was diagnosed with Bipolar Disorder back in 2013. Since I got diagnosed, I’ve been taking medication to help control mood swings, control anxiety attacks, and insomnia. When I was in London, I didn’t know I was pregnant in the beginning, I really worried that my meds would affect my son, Lucas. Thankfully, everything turned out alright and Lucas was born a happy and healthy baby boy.
Still, having bipolar disorder means I have to consciously decide on my emotions every day, I have to consciously choose to stay positive. It’s not really being about having toxic positivity, but being conscious of not dragging down Lucas’ energy whenever I also feel down. Having this condition, I’m always trying to be aware of the environment my son is growing up in, whether he’s happy, healthy, and full of love.
I’m not saying it’s perfect, I’m still working on that because it needs patience. Aside from him being a normal three-year-old, I need to work on how I react when he reacts to something because he needs guidance and I’ve been through that. Whenever he gets angry I try not to let it affect me as much. I’m still working on it, I’m learning so much from him. I’m doing the work so I could provide for the three of us including my mom, that’s the physical aspect.
Emotionally I’m working on myself because I want to be a better person, a better mom for Lucas. It’s a challenge, but I always thrive to do the right thing.
Believing as a superpower
Being a mom doesn’t come with a handbook, just because you bear a child doesn’t mean ta-da you magically know what to do. If anyone is going through the same thing right now, be it a single mom or any kind of mom, I want you to just believe in yourself no matter what.
When you’re in that situation of being a mother, you do things that you never realized you could achieve. You’ll really move mountains and do everything you can for your kind—but never think that you’re not enough. You already doing your best to provide for your family amidst this crazy pandemic.
Being a mom is a superpower. Just believe in yourself.
If seeing your girl friends keeps you sane, then do it. If not talking to your ex gives you peace of mind, then no one’s pushing you. Unsolicited advice is only a suggestion, only you know your struggles. Don’t feel guilty about doing things that make you a saner person. Just as long as you’re not stepping on anyone else, then go ahead.
Moms, being a mom is a superpower. Just believe in yourself.