[OPINION] Keep your misogyny out of Maris Racal's cheating scandal with Anthony Jennings

People online were quick to express their disappointment with Racal in particular, pointing out that she had a promising career she threw away for “some man.” They also called her behavior uncharacteristic since she has previously been vocal about women empowerment. Jennings is getting his share of lashings, too, especially for lying to his then-girlfriend—he told her we was just “method acting” with Racal—but it seems almost no one is feeling disappointed in him or offering any insight on how this may affect his career in the long run. 

And while any celebrity relationship drama is bound to be the talk of the town, it’s hard not to think that the lewdness of their supposed messages further fueled the fire. “[You] miss my body?” Racal asked in one message in late September. “I’ll touch myself lang,” she said in July. Online, she is being punished for messages that were supposed to be private. Because Jennings appeared relatively more reserved in the messages, people were quick to conclude that Racal was the one to tempt Jennings and instigate the supposed affair.

To be clear, what they allegedly did was wrong. If it's true, they deserve to be criticized. Internet discourse aside, the supposed cheating caused very real pain to people close to them. We obviously don’t know the full story, too. But it’s also unfair that Racal bears the brunt for a supposed affair that involves two people. These two things can be true at the same time.

When we blame her for being more sexually forward and apparently “luring” Jennings, we position him as incapable of making his own decisions and being at the mercy of his primal desires—and thus absolving him of responsibility for something he did, for multiple months, on his own volition. Some users even posted on social media that they were surprised by Racal but expected nothing less from Jennings, proving, again and again, that we are culturally more tolerant of men’s misbehavior, to the extent that we see it as a given. Women, meanwhile, suffer from destroyed careers and ostracization for committing the same exact mistake.

There’s also a very thin line between condemning Racal for cheating and for expressing her very normal, very human sexual desires. It can be easy to muddle the deviance of the supposed affair with the taboo of being vocal about wanting sex as a woman. After all, women are still largely perceived as sexual objects and never sexual beings—sexualized but never allowed to command that sexuality for their own pleasure. Racal should be criticized not for the “sin” of being a sexual being, but for allegedly doing it while she and Jennings were still in their respective relationships. 

It may be meaningful to ask what exactly we are angered by: two people who allegedly disregarded their own relationships and hurt others in the process, or a woman who, like any other human being, wants to have sex?

Disclaimer: The views expressed in this article are those of the author and do not reflect the opinions of PhilSTAR L!fe, its parent company and affiliates, or its staff.