How our unlikely love story started in the DMs
Let's face it, sliding into the DMs isn't exactly known for romance novels. Probably because a lot of them are only into hookups. But love can blossom in unexpected places and in ways we never anticipate, at least for me and Jessa.
We've been friends on Facebook for the longest time. We never reacted to nor commented on each other’s posts before. It’s moot anyway since we still had our respective partners back then.
Idle hands are the devil’s plaything. In the middle of April 2023, I was doomscrolling on my phone when I saw Jessa's post. I don’t particularly remember what it was about, but I clicked her profile and checked her timeline. She’s a sight for sore eyes.
Her profile’s intro section displays her Instagram handle. It has an unmistakable reference to The Godfather, one of my all-time favorites. I made a follow request to her account because why not?
Minutes later, bada bing, Jessa accepted it and followed me back. I checked her Highlights, which have several entries on music, literature, and film—interests that I’ve been pursuing all my life. "T*** **a," I thought. Ito na ba ang soulmate ko?
It was just "eme" on my part, of course, especially since we haven’t known each other personally just yet. I’m also not that delulu to message her seconds after becoming friends on social media.
Making my move
I’d see Jessa’s Instagram Story entries in the coming days. I didn’t feel the urge to reply to any of them. No right timing? Classic case of torpe? IDK. At best, I only left a tearing emoji reaction to her repost of author-filmmaker Taylor Rosen’s TikTok skit where he rizzes a random woman in a bookstore.
For what it’s worth, it was my way of telling her, “I see you.” I like you.
On the afternoon of May 9, a hint of rizz would hit me when Jessa reposted a trailer of Oppenheimer. She was looking for someone to watch it with. My delulu mind: Do you see me, too? It's my most anticipated movie since its director, Christopher Nolan, is my idol.
Without any hesitation, I replied, “Tara? 😁" Jessa didn’t leave it on seen. It wasn’t a Taylor Rosen moment for a random guy like me. Since a watched pot never boils, I went on with my day as usual.
But during the wee hours, the roiling boil happened: “Tara〰️ kailan?”
I spent minutes crafting a reply that wouldn’t set off an atomic bomb.
“Sa July pa ang premiere, so malayo-layo pa,” I said. It was lackluster.
But it wasn’t a bad timing. “In the meantime, I’d like to know more about you 🙂." I made an offer she couldn't refuse.
We had a “job interview." Jessa is working the graveyard shift handling political content online. Before relocating ahead of the COVID-19 pandemic, she was living in her grandparents' house, which is just a few steps away from my residence.
I gave her my “résumé" and "writing portfolio." We easily clicked, making pop culture references here and witty jokes there.
Jessa and I have a lot of small-world moments. Her younger brother is a former DOTA playmate. Her titas know my mama and my titas, as they also attended our high school. We have common friends, too.
We eventually talked about difficult subjects like family troubles and inner demons. We’d also discuss our failed relationships and attempted hookups.
She lost count of how many times she had been cheated on—and hurt, in all senses of the word—during her four-year relationship. She frequented Bumble afterward, but no match ever worked out. The tail-end of my six-year relationship was also marred by deception. I also tried finding a connection on Bumble, even Tinder and Reddit, but it was useless.
Jessa and I exercised much honesty and acceptance as we revealed more of our scarred, tender selves. Though we weren’t particular about any label and were still bonding exclusively online, suffice it to say that we’re there for each other.
D-Day
Jessa and I decided to go on a date ahead of our Oppenheimer viewing (and Barbie because “Barbenheimer”). The plan: Binondo food crawl, watch the latest Indiana Jones movie on June 25.
Alas, it was moved to July 2.
On D-Day, only the movie part would be realized.
Nonetheless, I was all smiles when Jessa arrived at the venue. When she approached me, I immediately hugged her. Ang bango-bango niya.
There’s that inexplicable high we knew we hadn’t felt in quite a while. We ate in a restaurant that sells vinyl records and serves Tex-Mex, our favorite. Back home, we were chatting past midnight.
Jessa and I went on three more (unplanned) dates. On July 20, or about two and a half months after my Instagram DM, we’d become officially a couple.
Why a perfect relationship isn't the goal
But our story isn't a fairy tale after the fact. We'd have tension several times. We'd have long, heated exchanges. We'd avoid communication for hours to days. We'd feel mutual hate for a while. 'T*** **a. Ito na ba ang soulmate ko?
PSA: Jowaan doesn't mean fusion. It will never be the case, even in marriage. All of us have different upbringings and beliefs. While two people may have manifold similarities, they’re still individuals at the end of the day.
I’m no relationship guru, but I believe it isn’t about having a perfect one. It’s impossible. But couples must strive for a relationship that’s a little short of perfection instead of one that’s riddled with imperfections.
A promising relationship must have loads of F.U.C.K.: Forgiveness, Understanding, Compromise, and Kindness.
Jessa and I make sure that we give enough F.U.C.K. in our relationship. We go on dates, if not visit each other’s homes, even just twice a month. We take turns shouldering our fare or coffee. We exchange even a meme or two on Messenger if free. We try to impress each other through selfies at least. We remember our respective interests. We sleep together. We manifest each other’s success. We give what we have to give. We agree to disagree. We initiate conversations or meetups despite arguments. We stay faithful to each other that it's not even a discussion.
Jessa and I couldn’t be more grateful for our serendipitous encounter on Instagram, but it’s our sustained efforts as individuals that would let us coexist.
I’m looking forward to reading Jessa’s replies tomorrow morning, the next morning, and the morning after that. I’m looking forward to all the mornings that I’d wake up next to her.
Ah, basta. Mahal na mahal kita, babe.
