Padilla apologizes for viral remarks on spousal consent; wife Mariel expresses support for him

Sen. Robin Padilla has apologized to those who were offended by his recent statements about whether husbands have "sexual rights" to their wives.

The movie star-turned-senator took to his Facebook page to issue a lengthy statement on the things he said during a Senate hearing, where he asked Atty. Lorna Kapunan about what husbands can do to urge their wives to have sex with them within the bounds of the law.

"Sa mga na-offend po o hindi nagustuhan ang aming pagdinig patungkol sa marital rape, mga kababayan, paumanhin po," Padilla said.

According to him, his inquiries were needed in order to discuss the implementation of laws properly, explaining that these are rooted from his responsibility as chair of the Committee on Public Information and Mass Media.

"Dahil ang batas ang proteksyon ng tao, kung hindi ito napalaganap, ito ay palamuti lang at maaaring makabiktima ng ignorante. Kaya't sa bawat pagdinig ng inyong lingkod, pinaghahandaan po namin ito para makapagtanong sa mga panauhin na pandangal," Padilla said.

"Ano po ba ang inquiry? An act of asking for information. Ang akin pong isinasagawang mga pagdinig, sa aking bawat hearing, walang pinakamahalaga kundi ang pagtatanong upang makakuha ng information dahil ang commitee ko po ay commitee of public information," he added.

In another statement, he took the time to address Gabriela Women’s Party-list Rep. Arlene Brosas who had criticized him for his "disturbing" belief that a husband coud "force" sex from his wife.

"Una sa lahat, wala akong sinabi na okay na pilitin ang asawang babae sa pagtatalik, saan po ba doon sa pagdinig? Pangalawa, ang sabi ko, paano kaming mga lalaki na naniniwala sa sexual rights kapag kami ay in heat, not drunk, not violent, not under influence of any drugs or liquor, [only] plain love and lust," Padilla stated.

With regards to his usage of "sexual rights," the lawmaker explained that this was rooted from a Bible verse from 1 Corinthians, which states, that "each has a right to enjoy sex and each has an obligation to help the other enjoy sex as well. Both spouses should receive joy and pleasure in a healthy sexual relationship. Husbands and wives should view the marriage bed in such a way that each spouse both gives and receives in the sexual union."

Padilla, who is a Muslim convert, went on to share an example of practices in the Islamic religion. Citing words of scholars on the issue, he said that the "husband should have intercourse with his wife according to what satisfies her, so long as that does not harm him physically or keep him from earning a living."

He further claimed that most scholars have said that "it is obligatory on women alike not to refuse their husbands if they call them" unless they have a condition that would result in a paintful intercourse, noting, "If she refuses with no excuse, then she is cursed."

He underscored that the point he was making was not about rape. "Hindi nga rape ang punto ko. Ang punto ay kung [ano] ang [puwedeng] gawin ng asawang lalaki para maging legal ang paghingi ng sex ng isang lalaki at hindi maging rape. Wala akong sinabi na [okay] ang pilitin ang babae," he said.

Padilla assured the public, "Wala po kayong dapat ipag-alala sa aming paniniwala dahil kasama rin po sa aming paniniwala ang hindi pagpilit sa asawang babae sa pagtatalik." He added, "In Islam, forcing a wife to have sexual intercourse is a transgression and an act that disrespects the body, mind and emotions of the wife."

He ended his posts by promising that he has a resolution in mind in aid of the legislation on sexual harassment and urged everyone to share the hearing so that more people would be informed on the issue.

Padilla's wife Mariel expresses support for him

Padilla made clarifications on his viral remarks about spousal consent as he shared a post made by his wife Mariel.

Sharing a photo of them sharing a kiss, Mariel wrote in the caption: "Oh my consent 'yan ah."

Padilla joked in the comments section: "Hello babe. I'm in heat." To which, Mariel replied, "It's a tie. I'm feeling hot hot hot."

Padilla's remarks on spousal consent

Padilla became a hot topic on social media after asking Kapunan what husbands can do to demand sex from their wives "legally" at a Senate Committee on Public Information and Mass Media hearing. He ended up getting lectured and reminded by Kapunan that rape exists even between married couples and that there must be mutual respect.

Kapunan noted that it may not be a legal issue but a psychosocial one, citing instances of the husband demanding sex when intoxicated or high on drugs. "Kung minsan kasi, ang 'No' ng babae naman arbitrary. Syempre, under that circumstance, magiging violent. Hindi out of love."

Padilla then asked what if there's no alcohol or drugs and was just "out of urge." He said, "Nandiyan asawa mo to serve you, ayaw niya. Ano ang puwede kong (gawin) para 'di ako mareklamo ng asawa ko? Ano ang puwede kong sabihin sa kanya?"

Kapunan answered that the couples need to undergo counseling. "O magdasal na lang kayo," she added, making Padilla and others laugh. "Manood kayo ng Netflix o Korean telenovela."

She also stressed the importance of mutual respect in marriages. "If your spouse refuses, whether valid or hindi, respetuhin natin ang decision ng wife. O nung husband," she said, noting that it is not the obligation of the wife to serve her husband.

The committee hearing was supposed to tackle sexual harassment allegations in the local media industry lately, not issues concerning the sex lives of married couples.