Moira Dela Torre gets real about her insecurities that ‘intensified’ when she stepped into the limelight

At the age of 12, slimming down became part of Moira Dela Torre’s personal missions.

She was a target of weight-related bullying at school, which unfortunately led to eating disorders that lasted for six months. Her wake-up call was one moment when her mom placed her hand on her protruding hip bone, realized the drastic changes in her body, and started crying. “Naisip ko, ‘Bakit ko ginagawa ito?’ There’s so much hope in the world,” she said in a previous interview.

The hit singer turned to songwriting for comfort. The day she decided to eat regularly again was the same day she composed her very first song about surrendering completely to God. Since then, she has never stopped. 

While Moira has recovered from anorexia and bulimia, her self-esteem issues came back when she became a public figure. “I’ve had my fair share of insecurities before stepping into the limelight, which I found only intensified when I got here,” she told PhilSTAR L!FE. “Sometimes, I catch myself stressing too much on my styling, afraid of the bashers when they see my weight or my skin. And I go home feeling defeated that despite my best efforts to look good, it’s never enough.”

Pesky bashers made things even more challenging for her. “I think my worst experience with body shamers happened during a concert in Marikina. That was a breakthrough show for me because it was the biggest audience I had performed for at that time,” she recalled. “Right before I had sung the last few lines, in that short pause for breath, I heard a man yell, ‘Ang taba mo. Laki mo, Moira. Panget! Taba!’”

It was tempting to give him a piece of her mind, she confessed. Instead, she just kept singing.

Such little things took a toll on the songwriter. “Just recently, me and Jason were looking through our videos from the last few years. I noticed I was subtly hiding. I remember that moment so vividly, hiding from the camera because I felt so ugly, so hideous, so fat,” she said. “Looking back now, I wasn’t. I was beautiful. And I felt terrible, realizing that I had spent so much of my life hiding.”

Moira’s able to understand her body more after her PCOS (polycystic ovarian syndrome) diagnosis, which is related to hormonal imbalance. “Upon learning about the symptoms, I realized I’ve had it for way longer,” she shared. 

At present, she’s slowly transitioning to a healthier lifestyle for herself. Apart from working out, drinking water, eating mindfully, and following a plant-based diet, she has made it a habit to start her days with positive affirmations. “I’ve learned to trust the process and realized how being gracious and patient with myself really makes a huge difference.” 

Doing so has not only helped her manage her PCOS, acne, and psoriasis, but also her mental health. “I’ve learned to be practical and not deal with emotion with emotion. Rather, I listen to my body so I can take care of myself better,” she continued. 

She may have yet to achieve all her health goals, but she’s happy to have found her own body-loving path. “It’s in this season now that I’m learning to love myself even in the middle of the process,” she revealed. “We deserve to be loved and respected, even in the in-betweens—even when we’re still on the way.”