She Slays: Kimi Lu on helping women celebrate their big and small wins
11 years ago, life coaching was unheard of.
At that time, I was lost. I felt empty. I felt despair. I felt like I needed to talk to someone. I tried to look for someone; I Googled it—life coach Philippines, life coach Manila, life coach Makati—and I didn't find anyone.
So at that moment, I thought it would be awful for someone if they looked for somebody to talk to, or help them and guide them, and there's nobody. I said, “Why don't I become one?” But also, I didn't know how to become one. It was unheard of here in the Philippines, so there weren't any courses for it. I know there are counseling courses as well, but not the life coaching.
So I had to look abroad. And one day, thankfully, I received an email and it said that they have a course on life coaching and you may be certified in neurolinguistic programming, hypnotherapy, reiki, and etc. There were a lot of things that you will be certified in. I didn't know much of the words that were placed. But I said, “I think this is the one for me.”
When I told my parents about it, my dad said, “Okay, I'm going to support you just have a plan for it. Have a plan for your career.” I'm like, “I don't I didn't have a plan. I was just guessing.” But I said yes.
And that's exactly what happened to me. I just said “yes” and I figured it out. And now I'm here 11 years after that episode of being lost, and being found as well.
Women are natural givers
As a life coach, I’ve interacted with and encountered a wide range of clients, many of whom have different backgrounds, beliefs, and morals. But if there’s one common issue that I gathered from them, it’s that they give so much of themselves. “I give so much of myself. I give to my kids, to my family, and then I need to work pa.” And then they just really forget about themselves.
Women, especially, are naturally very loving beings and they're really going to give. Hanggang sa maubos na nga eh, and they’re learning na, “Ah hindi pala ako kailangan maubos, kailangan ko lang mag recharge regularly para hindi ako nauubos.”
And then they also realize, “Ah, it is a disservice when I keep on giving. And then I'm actually like low batt na.” So that means, yes, you're giving your all but also you're not giving your all at your best. You're giving your all like at your “worst.” You’re not full, you're not happy. So how can you give so much at that point in your life?
So my clients love it when there's just one hour and a week that they get to give for themselves. It's happier to help others when you are full.
I think women should be compassionate to themselves and really start learning how to fill up their cups, and just share and give from their overflow.
Female pack
I think it's super important that women lift each other up. And I love collaborating. It's really helping one another—others kasi see it as like competition, “Ooh they want to collaborate, we might be in competition with others.” But I feel like when we're collaborating, there's more minds that are together.
And the next word that I really like, is “collective,” the collective energy of women. If we just come together, you can imagine already how much more powerful that could be.
It is so important that we collaborate and help each other and then have that collective energy, to change the world!
Celebrate life
I always say things like “Life is a party and you should celebrate it.” Celebrate yourselves, celebrate your roles, celebrate your bodies, celebrate even the little wins in your day.
Sometimes women forget. And I do I have clients who forget to celebrate. I have a client who wrote a book and then she even got an award for it. She told me she was happy, and I asked, “But did you celebrate?” And then she looked at me, and said, “Oh, yeah, I haven't celebrated it.” The act of celebrating it like maybe even just jumping up and down your room is already a celebration, or maybe buying cake for it. You know, just blowing a cake and just celebrating that little win. Sometimes people forget it.
So to all women, celebrate your small and big wins. Celebrate life.