Love and acceptance: Parents, aunties on why they're supporting their LGBTQ+ relatives at QC Pride March
One of the biggest struggles that the LGBTQ+ community faces is getting accepted by their own families.
Once they come forward with their identities, many queer individuals are shunned, ridiculed, abused, or worse: all of the above. Because of this, they’re forced to hide their true selves in the closet in fear of what their loved ones would think of them.
But for these LGBTQ+ members, not only did their loved ones accept them, they also went as far as to stand by their side as they celebrated their queerness at this year’s Pride March and Festival held in Quezon City.
The recently-concluded “Love Laban 2 Everyone” event organized by Pride PH saw around 200,000 attendees gathering at the Quezon Memorial Circle to celebrate Pride Month as well as to advocate for the LGBTQ+ community's causes.
While the crowd was mostly composed of members of the LGBTQ+ community, also in the mix were relatives who wanted to show their support and empower their queer loved ones during this special time in their lives.
For Cristy Santiago, she decided to attend this year's Pride celebration to help her gay nephew Gab feel loved and supported, saying, "Para maramdan nila na ano man ang kasarian nila, ano man ang pino-project nila, ay nandiyan kayo para sa kanila."
"Para hindi sila mag-isip na against ka, para mamotivate sila sa kung ano man ang ambisyon nila sa buhay," she told PhilSTAR L!fe.
Cristy shared that when Gab was in his elementary years, he was not in terms with his sexuality.
"Noong maliit pa siya, boy na boy siya, tapos habang lumalaki, parang malambot. Tapos mas gusto niyang friend 'yung daughter ko... kaysa sa mga pinsan niya or mga kapatid niya na boys," she said.
"Tapos 'yung mga gamit na pang-girls, 'yun 'yung type niya, so hanggang sa nakita na nga namin na malambot. Hindi naman kami nag-react negatively, tinanggap namin kung ano man ang kasarian niya, kung ano man ang galaw niya," she added.
Aside from her nephew, Cristy's heart is filled with love for the queer community as a whole.
"Mahilig talaga ako sa mga friends na beki. Mas marami akong friends na beki kaysa mga girls, mas preferred ko na 'yung mga nakapaligid sa'kin ay mga beki," she said.
Also supporting their LGBTQ+ family member is 44-year-old Joan. She accompanied her bisexual niece Kateleen and her partner to this year's festivities as they weren't able to go to last year's event.
"Para ko na rin siyang anak. Kung saan niya nakikita siyang masaya, edi support na lang," said Joan, who opted not to disclose her full name.
On how she and the rest of their family came to know about Kateleen's sexuality, she recounted, "Noong junior high, nararamdaman ko na na may special someone siya na ka-gender niya, pero hindi pa naco-confirm."
"Kaya lang namin nalaman kasi nga talagang iba 'yung closeness nila, tapos iba 'yung treatment nila sa isa't isa," Joan said. "Last pandemic, sabi niya may ipapakilala siya sa'kin, tapos doon siya umamin sa'kin, na may relasyon na nga sila."
When the truth finally came out, she encouraged her niece to try to tell her parents as well.
"Sabi ko isunod niya na i-open up sa parents niya, lalo na 'yung mom niya kasi nung time na 'yun nasa abroad. Sabi ko, 'Pagdating ng mama mo, sabihin mo rin.' Salamat naman at finollow niya ako at nag-open up siya nung pagdating niya," Joan said.
When asked how she comforted Kateleen during this challenging time, she told L!fe, "Sabi ko lang na nasa edad ka naman na tsaka tapos ka na mag-aral, so siguro naman maiintindihan ka ng parents mo kasi doon ka masaya eh. Maiintindihan ka nila kasi anak ka nila eh."
Joan, who is a first-time attendee at a Pride March, underscored that her love for her niece is strong as she had been caring for her ever since she was a child.
"Nasa tiyan pa lang siya ng mother niya, naalagaan ko na silang magnanay, so kulang na lang is iiri ko siya. Tapos matagal pa ako bago nagkaanak, so parang siya 'yung first daughter ko talaga," she shared.
First-time Pride March attendee 44-year-old mother Maria Theresa Las showed up at the event to show her love for her many friends who are in the queer community.
"Masaya kasing kasama 'yung katulad nila na LGBT atsaka mas totoo. Laging happy 'yung mood natin kapag may mga ganung kasamang kaibigan," she said.
Words of wisdom
As much as the LGBTQ+ community needs more people like Cristy, Joan, and Maria, the sad reality is that many queer children are forced to endure relatives who see their sexuality as a blight on the family.
Cristy urged other families out there who also have queer relatives to simply accept who they are.
"Lalo sa mga tatay, negative talaga ang reaction, pero habang tumatagal, matatatanggap din nila. Kung ano man ang nakikita niyo na galaw ng mga bata, tanggapin na lang," she stressed.
"Hindi naman nasusukat kung babae, lalaki, bakla, tomboy or whatever 'yung bata. Nasa kanila naman kung paano nila i-aachieve 'yung mga ambitions in life nila," she added.
These sentiments were shared by Joan, who underscored that people in general must show respect to the community.
"As long as nakikita natin silang masaya at nag-eenjoy sa life nila, edi go lang. As a parent or as a guardian, support lang natin kasi 'yung happiness na makukuha nila, hindi naman natin mabibigay," she said.
"Para ma-enjoy din nila 'yung life nila, as long as hindi nila inaano 'yung ibang tao, sumusunod pa rin sila sa mga batas, at walang ginagawang masama," she continued.
Maria, on the other hand, emphasized, "Just accept kung sino man sila and love them. Tanggapin lang natin sila, kasi mas kailangan nila nung pagmamahal kasi loving din naman sila."