What's it like to have a baby in your 40s? These celebrity moms share lessons, realizations on motherhood
Motherhood comes at different ages for different people.
For some, they can be moms in their 20s, while others in their 30s. For women aged 35 and beyond, the chances of getting pregnant decrease, but with advancements in technology, it's not too late for them to become parents.
According to the American Congress of Obstetricians and Gynecologists (ACOG), a woman's fertility peaks during her teenage years and 20s and it starts to decline by the time she reaches 30. Chances of getting pregnant at age 45 are already unlikely.
But some women do beat the odds, like Filipino celebrity moms Aubrey Miles and Regine Tolentino, who experienced "advanced maternal age" or being with child when they were 35 or older.
Regine was 41 when she gave birth to her youngest daughter Rosie Rignee, who actually came as a surprise.
"It was not a choice but an awesome surprise," she told PhilSTAR L!fe, adding that her other children were happy at the news. "We were just through the roof to find out that I was going to be a mom again after 20 years."
She added that becoming a parent 20 years ago was so different as technology made resources on parenting became more easily available. Her experience in raising two other daughters helped make her a "pro" at momhood.
The challenges
For Regine, her pregnancy at 41 was "much, much harder" as it was also during the COVID-19 pandemic.
"[Having a c-section,] I felt like the healing was longer and more mahirap. Physically, I was feeling a lot of emotional ups and downs lalo na nga with the pandemic and then being a mom again at that age and being so unsure," she shared. "Mentally, I was prepared because I had the support."
The TV host added that she wasn't as relaxed with her last pregnancy compared to her earlier ones, with postpartum depression hitting her harder this time.
Aubrey had her first child when she was 20, with her second following in 2008 when she was 26 and her youngest coming in 2018 when she was 36. The TV actress shared that she wishes she knew to have more strength to prepare her for having three kids in her 40s.
"I thought I'm okay, I'm fit, I'm ready, but I needed more pa pala. I should have stayed in my [routine] parang nagless and less kasi yung workout ko so sana I maintained, or I have more knowledge na mas marami akong workout in my 40s," she said.
"[It's] not that I am not strong in my 40s, but I'm feeling it's so much effort now[,] may extra effort. Hindi katulad nung 20s. Sana talaga mas may time pa ako mas may energy pa ako mag-work out," she added.
Racing against time
Both personalities opened up about how they think about their youngest kids' futures as they'll be older when they begin to embark on milestones like going to high school.
"Imagine if you think about it, especially kapag medyo tumatanda na—unless bata 'yung asawa mo—you really think sino ang mag-aalaga sa kanila kapag tumanda ka na," Aubrey told L!fe.
"Naisip ko 44 ako, tapos siya five. Pag nag 55 ako, [in 10] years, she'll be 15 years old [in high school]."
Regine added that, like Aubrey, she also thinks about her youngest's future.
"Ang mga iniisip ko now it's like, 'Oh my gosh, how old am I gonna be and I hope I'll be around when she gets married and have kids,' things like that,' she said, adding that she's thankful her older daughters are like second moms to Rosie.
The joys
Aside from the physical toll of motherhood, Regine and Aubrey also shared how they need to "catch up" with their kids, which also has its advantages as they keep the TV stars active.
"They keep us young. You need to catch up so, parang feeling mo every day magpakabata ka. Kailangan makapaglaro sa kaniya," Aubrey shared.
"I want to be healthier, to live longer. It's so cliche to say that pero [I] want to be stronger para makapaglaro pa kami," she said, talking about her youngest who is on the autism spectrum.
Having a baby at 36, Regine said it gave her a deeper appreciation for parenting.
"Being a parent again, at this age, has made me have a deeper appreciation for parenting or parenthood because I've already lived my life and I've already experienced my daughters growing older," she said.