By Andrea Panaligan, The Philippine STAR Published Oct 25, 2024 5:00 am

“One hot afternoon during the era in which you’ve gotten yourself ridiculously tangled up with heroin you will be riding the bus and thinking what a worthless piece of crap you are when a little girl will get on the bus holding the strings of two purple balloons,” writes the author Cheryl Strayed, then known only as “Sugar,” in her well-loved advice column “Dear Sugar.” The anonymous 22-year-old sender asked Cheryl what she would tell her 20-something self. 

Cheryl continues, “She’ll offer you one of the balloons, but you won’t take it because you believe you no longer have a right to such tiny beautiful things. You’re wrong. You do.”

The problems we carry with us often bring shame and isolation along. It’s part of why we may seek help through anonymous advice columns. But the efficacy of such columns lay not in the solutions they offer, but in the recognition that we are never as alone as we think. 

“Dear Sugar” and actress Gabby Padilla’s work in film and theater are similar in this sense. Both dig deep into the personal to unearth something innate and universal – the human experience encapsulated in the story of a young woman finding her place in the world or a 22-year-old asking a columnist for advice. 

Cheryl’s columns have transformed into the bestselling book Tiny Beautiful Things, adapted for the stage by Nia Vardalos. Gabby will star in the play’s Philippine premiere, alongside Iza Calzado as Sugar. They are joined by Rody Vera, Ketchup Eusebio, Regina De Vera, and Brian Sy.

Directed by Jenny Jamora, Tiny Beautiful Things caps off The Sandbox Collective’s 10th anniversary season. 

While Gabby is a letter writer in the show, we asked her to step into Sugar’s shoes and offer advice to questions about life, craft, and love from Young STAR readers. May her words bring solace, and may our shame and isolation never outweigh our courage to be vulnerable. 

One thing I admire about you is you always seem so sure of the projects you do and the next steps you take in your career. How do you build that trust within yourself even when things seem so uncertain?

GABBY PADILLA: Bold of you to assume I’m sure about anything. LOL. Nothing quite knocks sense into you like a terrible failure and the wisdom of older women. I've been lucky enough to have a good share of both, and I've always come out the better for it. 

I love surrounding myself with film and literature. I know deep in my heart that I want to live that life too. But I’m so scared of pursuing a creative college course because everyone says it’s impractical, and I’m scared they’ll end up being right. Should I take the leap and follow my heart?

Shouldn't the fear of them being right pale in comparison to the possibility of living the life you want? You already know your answer. You said it yourself: "I know deep in my heart that I want to live that life too." So, in the wise words of Rufa Mae Quinto, “Go, go, go!”

Who are your favorite female authors and what are your favorite books by them? I’m trying to fall back in love with reading and I trust your taste!

She will always have a special place in my heart: The Year of Magical Thinking by Joan Didion. Recent works that I've enjoyed or think are essential (are) Some People Need Killing by Patricia Evangelista, The Great Reclamation by Rachel Heng, (and) Motherthing by Ainslie Hogarth. And of course, Tiny Beautiful Things by Cheryl Strayed. ;)

I used to live in Manila for college but I moved back home to the province after I graduated. I’m thinking of moving back to Manila since I’m always there for work anyway, but while I’ve felt neutral about my province all my life, the prospect of moving away suddenly makes me so emotional. Like I suddenly just realized this is my home and the exciting opportunities in the city will never be enough to pull me away from it. Maybe I’m just suddenly so scared to leave my comfort zone. How do I even know where I belong? How do I know where my home is?

It was so hard to leave Iloilo after being home during the pandemic. I understand the feeling of wanting to stay home, where Sundays are slow and childhood friends are a call away. But you can also create a home within yourself, forged from your grit, strength, and ambition. One made from the new friendships you've formed as you've become the person you are today. Made from loneliness, discomfort, and self-doubt. Made from committing to yourself and your dreams. You get to carry this home with you wherever you go — a sort of North Star, showing you how far you've come. 

I love being an artist and I love that I get to do what I love for a living, but sometimes I wonder if I even deserve to be here. There are so many great artists out there — is the work I do really worth people’s time? Have you ever felt this way before, and how do you deal with it?

Yes, all the time. I don't think that will ever go away, but it’s a good place to start. See it as a desire to meet your full potential, rather than a question of your ability. Claim your seat at the table; be grateful and willing to try. The first person who needs to see your worth is you. 

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Gabby Padilla will star in The Sandbox Collective’s Tiny Beautiful Things: A Play About Life – In Letters, running from Nov. 16 to Dec. 8, 2024 at the Power Mac Center Spotlight Black Box Theater, Circuit Makati. Tickets are available at bit.ly/tinybeautifulmnl. 

Produced by Andrea Panaligan
Photos by Elleisha Angeles
Special thanks to The Sandbox Collective