Asking for a Friend: Is watching porn cheating? Our readers weigh in
There are certain people who just enjoy watching porn in their free time. They admire the way it’s done, the passion, the intensity. But what if the same hobby is ruining relationships?
For our advice column Asking for a Friend, a sender—let’s call her “Porn-Watcher Girlfriend”—shared that her boyfriend of five years is mad at her after finding out in her search history that she watches porn.
“It’s been a pastime for me even before we got into a relationship. He says he feels comfortable because it’s a form of ‘cheating,’ but I love him with all my heart. I just see porn as art.” We advised that while adult content can truly be artistic, if her boyfriend feels cheated, she cannot take away that feeling from him.
PhilSTAR L!fe recently asked readers for their thoughts on the matter. While some netizens sided with the sender’s boyfriend, others stressed that it’s “just porn” and that it can give them ideas on how they can have better sex with their partner. Meanwhile, there are some who say it depends on the situation and the kind of pornography they consume.
Here are some interesting responses and pieces of advice that stood out in the comment section of our poll.
It’s ‘just porn’
“Porn lang ‘yan. Hindi naman nag-dating or hooking apps.”
“Bigyan ko pa ng beer habang nanonood siya.”
Ideas for better sex
“For us kasi, it’s not the body of others na pinagpapantasyahan. It’s the position or ‘tricks’ and how they do it.”
“Hindi rin naman masamang mag-explore paminsan-minsan, lalo na kung asawa mo naman yung kasama mong mag-explore ng mga bagay-bagay.”
“Personally, no. It’s not a form of cheating or betrayal. It’s educational. LOL!”
Ruining the concept of love
“Love is the foundation of every marriage. Love is a virtue that can be sustained by all the other virtues such as loyalty, courage, respect, humility, patience, simplicity, prudence, honesty, kindness, trust, faithfulness, godliness, obedience, service, and hope. Porn is not a virtue but a vice. Porn opposes the virtues, therefore opposes love and marriage.”
"Porn is degradation of other people. It's hate and betrayal against people's bodies and souls."
"Why would my partner do it if I can perform better?"
Fantasizing about other people
“It’s cheating because you’re fantasizing about others. No matter what the reason is, it will always be emotional cheating.”
“It depends on the situation, I guess. If my partner watches porn because he likes fantasizing about women’s bodies, that is cheating for me. But if he does that because we’re not able to do it and then to make himself feel you know… maybe that is not cheating.”
Got a problem you’re too afraid or embarrassed to share out loud? We’re here for you. Email us at [email protected] to get some lighthearted advice you need to hear.
